why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
