No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
