Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize