Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
