Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
