just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize