Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
