He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
