He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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