Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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