I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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