I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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