Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
