Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
