I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My vagina is very pro this idea
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
