Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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