Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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