were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
