giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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