its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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