so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
