Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
