You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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