is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
