i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
