so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
