Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
