so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm passing your future prison.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
