The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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