Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
