I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
