Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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