I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just blew my weed a kiss
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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