woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
