thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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