I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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