He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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