he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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