I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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