i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
