I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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