Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
