Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
