I think scott just propositioned me for sex
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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