just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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