I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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