Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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