2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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