now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
