that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
