For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
