You work out of a Hotel?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
