everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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