was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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