I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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