How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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