just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
