I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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