batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm both gender and math confused
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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