i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
