So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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